Step 1: Unwrap the muffin.

Most muffins come in paper and it is never the tastiest part, so we remove it. If you’re lacking in plates/napkins, the wrapper may help contain things during the eating process.

Step 2: Turn muffin upside-down.

Yes, this is what you do. Do it confidently. If some cretin laughs at you for having an upside-down muffin, laugh back at them, because they definitely have some inferior taste lingering in their mouth, since they clearly don’t know how to consume muffins properly.

Step 3: Bite and/or Pull apart.

Things get a little strange, here, depending on where you got your muffin, how big it is, and how crumbly it is. If your muffin is small enough and will hold together, go ahead and start taking bites, from the bottom (which is now on top). If you prefer to tear off a chunk of the muffin, that’s fine. If you’re muffin is particularly crumbly, for example, a corn muffin, or a Coffee Cake muffin from Dunkin’ Donuts, you may want to leave the upside down muffin in the bag it came in, and tear off chunks.

Step 4: Top Consumption.

When all you have left is the best part, you may choose to switch to biting, if you’ve been tearing off chunks to get through the bottom. I leave the muffin upside-down, even if I start biting, because, once I commit to something, I’m in 100%. Depending on the muffin, the middle may even be better than the edges, so plan your bites/chunks accordingly.

I realize that some establishments sell muffin tops. While I do see the point, and might even feel some validation that, since muffin tops exist, I’m not the only person who feels this way about muffins, I think it’s the lazy way out and I will only buy such a muffin top if the discount in price correlates to the amount of muffin deducted. And, since I am now accustomed to the tops of my muffins as pure tops, with no bottom crust, I would have to eat it the same way as I would a normal muffin, first removing the bottom crust.

Warning: Cupcakes are an entirely different animal… as most of them are frosted and must be treated in much the same way as cake. This process is complicated and involves small samples of the frosting, the cake, and the combination, to determine if one is a better candidate for final bite status. If the cake is good, but the combination is clearly better, you can approach it like a muffin. Check for frosting stickiness, though, to avoid a mess, when turning it completely upside-down.  Oftentimes, a cake is best when you have a little bit of frosting with each bite (In a traditional cake shape, any edge or corner slice which has frosting on more than one side necessitates careful pre-planning of each of your bites to achieve this. It can become a complex three-dimensional geometry puzzle). If the cupcake falls into this category, it may be possible to just bite through it, keeping it upright, however, cupcakes are notorious for being over-frosted, so you mustn’t be afraid to remove some frosting.

Speaking of breaks, I have tomorrow off! Maybe I’ll play some video games, it’s been a while… a month or more, I think. It’s also Micro Four Thirds Day, and we happen to own a mu-43 camera, so maybe I’ll take some pictures!

Speaking of pictures, I saw this giant plume of dark smoke when I got close to home… in the exact direction of home… and I found myself hoping that home wasn’t on fire. I think, maybe, the landfill across the street from our subdivision is on fire. So maybe we’re safe. There’s certainly a lot of ash floating through the air.

Speaking of air…. um, I got nothing.

The first problem with my Doritos Locos Taco experience was the drive-thru cashier. He gave me a moist towelette. It seems like a nice gesture, sure, but he handed it to me before he even gave my card back, and said, “You’re gonna need this, for yo’ fingers, trust me.”  This shouldn’t have come as a surprise, I suppose, Doritos leave stuff all over your fingers, so why shouldn’t a Dorito-taco-thing? Unfortunately, this immediately put me on the defensive, because when a normal person needs a moist towelette, I might need several. Then there was the wrapping. It had a paper wrapper, like any other taco from Taco Bell, but then, there was a paper sleeve. Was it just there for Doritos branding? Maybe, but then why was one end closed and the other open? Was I supposed to gradually push the taco out the open end of the sleeve and take bites of the exposed end? Perhaps… and that’s what I tried to do, which resulted in a disastrous mess wherein all of the vegetables exploded out of the taco and all over me. Looking back, I’d say the sleeve might be some strange, and not well thought out, finger protection device… as if Doritos dust was toxic or embarrassing or something. The moist towelette could’ve taken care of some Doritos flavored fingers, but not the cheese, lettuce, tomato and drips of meat-goo that actually ended up on me.

Lesson learned. Accept the moist towelette, toss the paper sleeve, get Dorito-ey fingers, eat taco without explosions.

Oh, and it didn’t taste bad… it was kind of exactly the combination of Doritos and Taco Bell that I expected. No surprises.

I want to believe the coffee-guy saw me running, because, clearly, his job is boring that early in the morning, and seeing someone run for a train is exciting. I even want to believe that he saw my glasses fly out of my bag and turned them into the ticket-guy. I’d also love to stretch the reality a bit and imagine that he thought about approaching me between the early train that I missed and my regular train to tell me something flew out of my bag, but decided not to, because I looked like Bruce Banner about to go hulk. The actual reality is probably that someone turned them in when they saw them in the parking lot and the ticket-seller just knew they were mine, somehow, and has a weird smile all the time… and coffee-guy gives a nod to anyone he thinks might buy from him again.

Whatever really happened, I now have a spare pair of sunglasses, since I went to lenscrafters on Saturday. I also have a spare pair of regular glasses from the Friday that they fell out of my pocket when the school bus that I was in jumped a curb. Those came back in the middle of the next week, in the same case that these sunglasses came back in… the one with the broken zipper-pull, maybe it’s a lucky case. But again, they didn’t quite come back fast enough for me not to replace them.

It’s weird to have spares for both, but I don’t think I should return either pair, knowing my luck and given the worn out condition of the 4-5 year old pairs that tried to get away.

I also took a trip down memory lane, earlier in the week, when an old ex-girlfriend apologized to me on facebook, in case she was ever heartless or selfish. She wasn’t and I told her so. It got me thinking about past relationships… there are a few people I should probably apologize to; I guess I have a few regrets, but I think I only really hold one grudge, maybe two. Facebook is certainly good for bringing up these random memories and feelings.

In other news, camp is almost over, though I got roped into an extra week. It’s going to be a low-enrollment/more chilled-out version of camp, but it’s still another week of getting up early and going to the city. My hope is that my seniority and 15+ years of camp experience will mean that I’m running the show as the fill-in director. My history in these matters is that I’m promised a director’s position and/or I fill in for one until a decision is made and then it isn’t given to me… no such promise was made this time, so maybe this will be the time it happens.

The commute to camp has been made much nicer, this summer, by the set of Ultimate Ears SuperFi 5vi that I picked up when they went on super-sale at Amazon. Unfortunately, the cord busted on the first set, so I had to get myself another set, but Logitech customer service got back to me about my complaint and replaced the first set for free… in the meantime, the cord started to separate, right at the jack, on the second set. I put some electrical tape on there to hold it together until the replacement set came. I’m hoping they replace them as well. The foam tips are the most comfortable, but it makes me sad that they fall apart after a week and half or so. I think my ear canals are too small or something because all of the various sized silicone tips irritate my ears a bit and seem to wiggle their way out. The cord is obviously cheap on this model, both have broken and it makes lots of contact-noise when I’m walking around, but if I ever upgrade to something better, I might look into those custom ear-molded ones.

I’m also still playing the music on my commutes from my iPod. I was hoping to be just be carrying the Droid. I am carrying an extra battery for the phone, so I don’t have that excuse anymore, and it’s not that it’s not capable, but the lack of gapless playback (for those few albums that really need it) or built-in volume normalization (for regular shuffle) or a shuffle-by-album option (for when I feel like reconnecting with my albums, which is most of the time) makes me continue to carry my iPod. There are alternative music apps that attempt to solve these issues (at least the gapless and shuffle by album), but none puts it all together. I’m sure that future versions of Android will get these features in, especially if the rumors are true and they start using android as an OS for a media-player type device. Will these features make it in before I upgrade to a new phone?

I’ve found the phone very difficult to use this summer. I’m not sure if it’s just too humid at my mostly-outside job, or if I sweat too much (likely) but the touchscreen gets all freaked out and thinks it’s being touched all over the place and renders the phone useless until I clean it off… and even then, I can only get good response from it for a few seconds until it starts freaking out again. If I go somewhere cool and dry (air conditioned) and give it some time to recover… and give myself some time to recover and not be so sweaty … it works just fine. This wasn’t an issue at all in the Winter and Spring; It will probably affect when I decide to upgrade to a new phone. I’ll be eligible for a bit of a discount in early July, and that humidity will just be starting to bother me again. So whatever awesome android phone is available on July 06, 2011, you can pretty much bet that I’ll be buying one. If it continues to happen on the next phone I own, I’ll have to seal my phone in a ziploc bag all summer, or something.

I’m pretty sure I have a legitimate use for the wireless tether feature of the Droid. We’ve booked ourselves a few days at a cabin in Gatlinburg, TN, in late September. The rental policy said something about having “local Knoxville area access numbers…” Dial-up? Awesome. I don’t think I know anyone in the area (unless EJ is still around there, somewhere), so this one is going to be pure vacation, for me, and no attempting to visit friends/family. That stuff will have to wait until sometime around the holidays. It’ll be one of the longer roadtrips we’ve done in the past couple years, and I’m excited about that.

bad news: A1C tests usually mean blood samples taken with a needle and a big bruising scar that lasts for days.
good news: today’s A1C came from the same finger prick they used to test my current blood sugar and was ready in 6 minutes.

bad news: I had to fast for this appontment today and hadn’t eaten since 8.30 last night.
good news: panera bread on the way to the red line (with free wifi)

bad news: I’m not done with the stats for work, yet
good news: I’m downtown for the study appointment, so I can swing by the office and get the stuff I’m missing, hopefully.

bad news: between major seasons, so not much work besides finishing the stats.
good news: picked up a few days at a couple other teams courses and met people and have heard from even more courses who want me to work for them.

bad news: it was raining this morning and I had at least one 10 minute walk on the schedule.
good news: the sun is out.

In other news, I got on the list at a couple more teams courses and hopefully I’ll be picking up more work. Already lined up a few days in between the usual season and summer camp. Hooray!

Winter. This is my real downtime. The holidays are over and work doesn’t start up again for a few weeks, unless we hire new people and have to train them. I usually entertain myself with a video game addiction at this point in the year, and this year is no exception. Sarah and Frank and I are all addicted to video games. Sarah is still spending most of her time on the Uncharted 2 multiplayer, and I’m almost finished with the The Saboteur. I could go back to Ghostbusters, if I finish it, I guess… Ghostbusters is fun, with all the cast voices in there, but The Saboteur is a way better game. I also have Brutal Legend to finish… and probably some others that I’m forgetting about.

BTW our holiday schedules have changed a bit: here at home, Doug is spending some time in the hospital dealing with an infection. This may delay our Christmas dinner and gift-opening to another day… maybe even next year. Out east, we’ve shifted family days around a little and I think Tuesday afternoon/night and all day Wednesday are still free, if you’re looking to hang out with us, while we’re out there.

I managed to get through the balances on most of the gift cards that were haunting my wallet… in a related note, some of you are getting christmas presents from me for the first time in years… or ever, maybe. I managed to avoid most of my impulses to buy things for ourselves that we really don’t need.

I’m getting very comfortable with my new phone; I’m happy with my choice… no regrets. I have a new number that sort of forwards to my old number, by the way… so, if you’re on Verizon, it’s cheaper just to call my old number, but if you’re not, lemme know and I’ll get you my new number.

I finished Mini-Ninjas, though I might just play it again on Hard. I am looking for a new game to become hopelessly addicted to during my break from work. If you have suggestions or games that you like to play online that we can play together, hit me up.

I’m genuinely worried about the two $100 gift cards that I put into my wallet this week. One is an American Express card that I only paid $50 for at their Daily Wish site, and the other is a rebate from Verizon. Regardless of my extensive and ridiculous wishlist, I like getting gift cards. They make things easy, theoretically, but I’m still bad at using them.

In other news, we got that tree up, and got lights and ornaments on it. Peanut helped untangle the lights.

This is the month where work usually wraps up… and that leads to the month when we wrap presents… and it will all blur into a month I will call Wraptember.

Those of you who plan on seeing Sarah and I when we’re back east, claim your days now.

My mom found this. It was somewhere in her house, probably in the basement with a bunch of other old mail. I definitely played Freeway, a lot. Like any good addictive game, it would still be there, long after I stopped playing, when I closed my eyes. Seeing the picture and screenshot in the “Summer 1982 Activision Video Game Cartridge Catalog” made the memories come flooding back. Now I have to figure out what I should put the patch on.

The text of the letter:

Dear Fan of FREEWAY™ by ACTIVISION:

Congratulations! You guided your chicken through traffic at least 20 times, which qualifies you as an official member of the Activision “Save the Chicken Foundation.”  We are pleased to reward your traffic dodging achievemets with the enclosed patch.

Your name has been added to our mailing list and we will keep you posted on new Activision game cartridges as they become available.

Thank you for sharing your accomplishment with us.  We hope you’ll try other video games by Activision and write us about your experiences with them.

Yours truly,

Jan Marsella
Customer Relations

JM
Enclosure

PS. Please read the enclosed Heat Seal Instructions carefully. Children should not attempt to heat seal the patch to clothing.  Improper use of an iron (or related appliance) may result in damage to clothing, or bodily harm.  This patch may also be sewn to any fabric.

Also be sure to check out the scans of the Activision catalog at flickr.

I’m not sure if it’s sad or not, but this news totally distracted me from the fact that it’s been four years since my dad died. I think I would have gone the whole day without realizing it, if Sarah had not mentioned it. I’m not sure I realized it last year, but I think Sarah’s mom might’ve mentioned it. The Dad memory that came to mind tonight, as we were driving home from our friend Jessica’s housewarming party was about Dad giving me directions. It was one of those first trips that I took from Woonsocket to my parents’ house. I was going to head back the way I came and I mentioned that there’s probably some other road I could take that winds through Connecticut. Dad suggested a route. It was a couple windy roads that did exactly that. The best part was that he said “and you’ll be on this road, and just about the time you say, ‘where the hell am I?’ you’ll hit Route 44.” And that is exactly what happened. I think I even said it out loud… not realizing that I was fulfilling his prophecy until the moment it happened.

I dunno what is more saddening… but the coincidence is morbid.

Every time I see my prescription, specifically, the bottle with my last name on it, I think about my Dad… not some random thought, but something like “is that my Dad’s bottle?” or “Why is one of Dad’s prescriptions out here?” … defying any logical thoughts about Dad being gone for several years now, or the fact that I haven’t lived in the same house as my Dad for eight or nine years. My brain just can’t see a bottle with my name on it and think that it’s mine. Will I ever get used to having a prescription?

The ongoing health issues have prompted lots of discussion about health insurance and Sarah or I needing jobs that have real benefits. Drama being what it is around here, the discussions have often turned into fights or bouts of silent treatment. The whole thing has got me looking back into tech jobs. I cruise craigslist on a daily basis and send an occasional response to interesting looking positions; Haven’t heard anything back from anyone, yet. It’s not something I want to do. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t take another desk job unless I was being paid substantially more than I was in Marlboro… but I was probably overpaid, given my technical qualifications, at the time. Either way, I was not healthy and not happy and I don’t know what the consequences would be if I were to take such a job again. I don’t want to sacrifice my mental well-being for the chance at better physical well-being. It makes me actually take some interest in this health care reform political stuff. I guess there isn’t a chance that we’d have a universal, free-to-everyone system like the rest of the civilized world has, but it would certainly ease my mind of this issue, if we did.

In other news:

Work starts back up soon, one meeting next week and then officially back to a regular schedule the following week. I think we have Fridays off this season.

Got the annoying clicking noise the rear wheel(s) of my car were making fixed… it took three tries, but we got it done. Now I hear every click and creak the car makes when I hit bumps and stuff… still need to do whatever needs to be done about the little ding in the windshield.

And we’ve been using our game consoles a lot over the break… picked up the X-Men Origins: Wolverine for xBox 360 and Fat Princess for PS3 … and I might dig into our most recent purchase, Mini Ninjas during this last week off. Fall TV season be damned, we’re playing our video games!

In case you missed it. I made a silly, random tumblr called backsofpeople.tumblr.com and inserted it into the bottom of the right column of fashiondisaster.org. I made it open to submissions, too. I figure that I’m not the only one who goes through my photos and finds a bunch that I’d put up if they weren’t so monopolized by a view of someone’s back.

I was also approached by a band on Bandmix that needs a bass player, but the audition songs make me thing that I would not like playing in this group… it’s basically country. I thought I specifically said that I’d prefer not to do country in my profile somewhere, but I guess they can’t read. I should’ve known when they mentioned a Wynonna Judd song but said it was by Winona Ryder.

iPhone
Pros:
available now
Apple hardware exclusivity means cooler peripherals possible
definite iPod replacement (only carry one device)
Sirius app

Cons:
switching to AT&T
higher plan cost
GPS apps aren’t as good as a Garmin
no background apps without jailbreaking
no keyboard

Android (undecided on which exact phone, maybe the rumored Sholes)
Pros:
Open source
coming to Verizon in October, probably (no switching)
instant Google-ness
keyboard

Cons:
might not be an iPod replacement – dunno how music players on android are
Waiting for a verizon release or Switching carriers
GPS apps aren’t as good as a Garmin

Nuvifone
Pros:
GPS is as good as a Garmin, it’s a Garmin!

Cons:
probably not an iPod replacement – seems GPS/social-centric
have to wait AND probably have to switch carriers
next version is going to be Android
no keyboard

Palm Pre
Pros:
available now
a couple personal recommendations

Cons:
tiny-ass keyboard
switching to Sprint

And now I’m officially between seasons… doing a lot of sleeping in.

The outside screen on my phone broke during the last week of camp, so I really do need a new phone… do I wait for a good Android phone or give in to the immediate pressure and get an iPhone?

Also, early heads up: We will be heading back to the East coast sometime around Christmas and will be spending a little extra time so that I can catch up with all the people who’ve been missed the last couple times I was out there. So, let me know if you’ll be around, so we can work something out.

I’m getting into the swing of things, now, though. I’ve made some simple changes to my diet, so far… no more regular sodas, experimenting with alternative sweeteners, making breakfast and lunch a more balanced and much more regular occurrence. Been thinking about ways to try and stay active between seasons. It’s been going well, but I guess I’ll find out on Thursday, if I have to do any more. We bought a couple diabetic cookbooks and I rediscovered hummus. I’ll really, really miss my favorite sodas, but I’m sure I’ll find a new favorite drink, sooner or later.

Anyway. The rest of the weekend included a delicious anniversary dinner on Friday night and an even more delicious birthday brunch and a party at our friends’ new house with lots of presents and even more yummy food (it’s hard to be ‘good’ when so much good food is around).

AND … instead of our usual September journey back east, we’re going to try to do a longer visit in the November~December time frame. I dunno exactly when, but around one holiday or another and a long enough visit to try and see everyone who we’ve missed on previous visits. Consider yourselves warned… more details will come as we get closer.