existential fashion disaster

Been trying to keep myself occupied while Sarah is off at her photo/web design/newsletter gig. I’ve done a lot of Mac shopping… not for the eventual replacement laptop(s) for our old limping ones, but to replace the G4 that’s been my trusty backup since sometime in 2001. It’s always been quirky, being a mac, but now it’s just plain unstable and Sarah and her mom and I all use it a fair amount. Sarah will probably end up doing most of her work it, since her laptop can’t really handle much. It’s crashing about once or twice daily. I don’t know what’s causing it, and it’s never actually crashed while I was using it, but I shouldn’t expect wonders from a machine with so many weird hardware upgrades. I’m not in a place where I can invest in a new Intel mac to replace it, so I’ve been browsing craigslist and ebay for decent G5s. It’ll be sad to retire the G4. Maybe it can be made stable and live on in some semi-retired state. It is kinda loud, though, might not be worth it. Maybe I can find a home for it.

In other news, Thursday, the Mazda is getting an oil change and the master window switch replaced, again. The first time it was because the Auto button wasn’t working. Then the replacement made the right rear window non-operational. It’s been a long process, and a learning experience, since I’m now on my extended warranty and have to pay money for repairs. I also have to pay a whole bunch of money to have my windshield replaced. I woke up, Sunday morning, to find a starburst and cracks branching off in multiple directions right at the top center of the glass. Illinois doesn’t have that nice separate glass policy that Massachusetts did… so I have to pay my full comprehensive deductible. I’d say that maybe I could get some cook pictures of the work in progress, but we’ve lined up sealcoating for the driveway for the same day, and that smell gives me an almost instant headache that lasts for a whole day.

Tomorrow, I think I get rained on during our first day trip of the season.

I hate the paperwork related to the every day operation of the adventure ed. program. It’s just like homework, when I was in school. I did the work already. The team is progressing. Why do I have to write about it? Boo homework. I don’t mind doing the survey result statistics, because the whole reason we do the surveys is for comparative statistics… but the journals don’t help the team at all. Boo homework.

In exciting/fun news, one of Sarah’s polaroids from our trip back east is shot of the day on Polanoid … she even gets a gift card! Woot!

I need new strings. A string on my bass broke last night during practice… I hadn’t bought strings in so long, I must’ve thrown out the last batch of old ones I took off, so I had no spares. I had to leave practice early. After I left, I suppose there must’ve been some sort of discussion, because, when I got home, I got a call, thanking me for my efforts and asking when I could come pick up my amp later this week and a few lame apologies and excuses. This isn’t a disaster, though. It was good to be playing again, but it was definitely not the right group of guys. I have a very good sense of musical variety and space and melody and they could put together interesting song pieces, but didn’t really understand the musicality I was trying to bring to it. The phrase that will echo through my head is, “it sounds kinda gay when you do that, could you not do that?” I don’t think I’ve ever been told that one of my bass lines is wrong for a song. I want to believe it was just a matter of taste or style… but the songwriter dude will always be that “young, pushy and impatient guy with no sense of musical space” in my mind.

Even though I was half-relieved to be out of this musical situation, I still want to play, so I was a little upset. If nothing else, I have to go through the effort of finding musicians, again, and that’s a lot more effort than I originally imagined it to be. A little sadness and/or stress brought out all my usual urges. My first urge was the “nasty letter” … to go post on craigslist about not wanting to play with “impatient, pushy kids” and having unencumbered “freedom to use space, variety and melody” in my basslines… but I quickly squashed that idea. It was replaced with my go-to urge in times of stress and light depression: spending money. It started innocently enough, looking into the exhaust fan for the mac. But I was doing it on my zombie PC downstairs, which needed software updates… then I started looking into what kind of hardware was in there and whether I could max it out. It’s not like it was running slow at all and I barely ever even use that machine. I had an amazon cart full of hardware, when I came to my senses and realized I was stress-spending (like stress-eating, but more expensive).  I can spend money today on much more necessary things, like a haircut and an eye exam and new sunglasses…. and maybe new strings.

I guess this means I don’t need to pick up my 18″ cabinet when I go back east. I should probably retrieve it from whoever has it and get it to Mom’s, so I can have it shipped out here, when and if it does become necessary. We still haven’t firmed up any definite days for the week I’m out there, but the requests for hang-out time are coming in quickly, so if you haven’t commented or eMailed me, do it soon. T-Minus 6 or 7 Days … or something like that.

I have survived the first week of camp. It’s very similar to last year. A few more kids and a few more staff; a little more structure, a little less “free to wander” time. I should still be able to get a lot of pictures. I don’t have a schedule of what field trips are during what weeks… or if we’re repeating any of last year’s trips, but so far, it’s been good. Riding the train and the buses to work has been ok. My cool bus pass card thing fell out of my pocket on the way to work on Thursday, though. Unfortunately, we had a staff meeting and the extra time it took me to get some cash out and break it into small bills, so I could pay for the bus, made me too late to get to CTA headquarters to get my replacement card until the next morning. I got spoiled on that card really fast; carrying cash is really annoying. I also managed to lose my hat in the same day. I’m really good at losing stuff. It’s possible that I was simply getting more and more exhausted each day of camp. I feel like I’m either getting sick or my occasional seasonl allergies are attacking my throat. Thursday morning may have been my low point. I did manage to stay awake and alert enough to take a ride out to REI and get a new hat after work on Thursday night… which I don’t think I could have accomplished earlier that week. Friday, I stayed in the city and met up with Emily and Brett and Sarah and had dinner at a place called Earwax (which was yummy) and shopped a little at a bookstore. I was still exhausted after a few hours, but more awake than those first couple days. Hopefully my body can adjust.

Today, we took a drive up to Wisconsin. We stopped at the Jelly Belly factory on the way and picked up some candy. Our main draw up there was a couple breweries that make good root beers around Milwaukee. We managed to visit both of them and bought four cases of soda between them. We also ate at a great German place that had a very tasty Sauerbraten. We walked across the street and picked up a bunch of sausage and cheese.

And now, I’m feeling a little bit more tired than I think I should, given that it’s only 9.30… so it’s definitely not just camp that’s got me so exhausted.

Sarah’s mom reminded us that we passed the two year anniversary of our first date. She then started to ask me whether this was my longest relationship and I had to think about it. It turns out that it definitely is. The longest possible definition for my last long relationship was from November 1992 to September 1994… and it was a long distance relationship, only seeing each other on weekends and school breaks, and, for at least one year, it wasn’t an exclusive relationship… and it was in high school… so really, does it count at all? While I was sitting here, bored at work, I figured out that Sarah might also be a record holder for the longest “friendship that turned into a serious relationship,” since we started talking back in 2003, on photoSIG… as long as I don’t count the weird girls who I had relationships with in high school, lost touch with, off and on, for 5-10 years and then had another relationship with. All those years of non-contact don’t count, right? I dunno the rules for these kind of things. I wouldn’t say that two years flew by, but it doesn’t feel like it’s been two years. I know time flies when you’re having fun… but what do you call it when you’re happy and in love and two years doesn’t feel like two years? I guess it’s the same thing, fun just seems like too general a word to sum up the last two years. It’s been wonderful.

In other news, my phone started doing weird things and “rebooting” itself, so I brought it to a Verizon store and got its software/firmware updated. It seemed to help. Apparently, I’m eligible for $100 towards a new phone at the end of August. I looked at what’s available, now and wasn’t overly excited by anything. And I’m certainly not going to double my bill [to get unlimited calling to anyone on any service] just so I’m eligible for the new iPhone rip-off. I may not do anything in the phone department until I find out what carriers the Nuviphone will be on. That would satisfy my new GPS urges and hopefully quash any iPhone urges. I don’t really want to rearrange the family phone plan, though, so if it can’t work with Verizon, it probably won’t happen. What’s nice is that my current phone has been pretty good to me for almost two years. My current little laptop with GPS has been adequate, for a little over two years, but it’s not nearly as convenient or nice as those little portable units. It’d be cool to do some one-stop shopping, but I have to be patient and let the cool new devices hit the marketplace.

Now, I’ve just gotta survive through the rest of the boring front desk gig at the Y… not that I’m complaining - boring work on the weekends is fine with me, but relaxing at home is nicer.

This page has some videos of me performing in my high school’s song and dance group (the ones with titles that include years back in the 90s - cause I’m old).  Totally embarrassing. Enjoy.

It’s been a fun week. The weather was fairly nice and we went to the Flea Market, today. We’ve been teased with warm spells and then temperatures dropping back near freezing overnight, so it was nice to walk around in a t-shirt today. The overnight trips for Adventure Ed. are this week, so I hope this warm spell continues. We saw Iron Man on Friday. It was pretty darn good, especially for a comic book movie. We also went yard saling that morning and attended Fly Bird’s 4th birthday bash-thing and picked up some weird stuff. I think we’re doing a double date tonight and seeing another movie, maybe Forgetting Sarah Marshall or maybe Baby Mama… I really liked the intriguing “is that for real?” ad campaign that Forgetting Sarah Marshall did with their billboards and busboards.

I also did something bad to my knee at some point this week. I think I may have injured it on Tuesday night when I was doing a balancing-on-one-foot-and-tying-my-shoe dance. It was kinda sore on Wednesday, worse on Thursday and really really painful on Friday. Yesterday it was much better and today it feels fine… but it really made me feel old. I was all gimpy and hobbling around the yard sales on Friday.

Oh, and while it wasn’t my boss, this time… a director at the YMCA I work at was let go this week. I’m not directly involved and, as I said, it wasn’t my boss, so it has nothing to do with the curse that I bring along to every after-school day care that I’ve ever worked for, but I am curious to see how they fill his position. I haven’t yet worked for a YMCA that filled a vacant position with anyone half-as-good as the person that left/they fired. They usually cut corners and give some of their responsibilities to other directors and maybe hire a new assistant.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not political. I’m not even registered to vote in Illinois. I thought I was last registered in Dudley, but who knows. Until a candidate who is an atheist, possibly an existentialist, in favor of a complete destruction and rebuilding of the monetary system from one based on debt to one based on work and is basically an anarchist runs, I can’t get behind one and give them my vote, because they won’t represent me. Having said that, I have voted once (and attempted to vote a couple other times, but was told I didn’t exist). I will vote for or against the presidential candidate that I would like to or not like to see on TV for the next four years. I didn’t want to see Bush’s creepy little beady eyes on TV for four years (or four more years), so I attempted to vote against him, twice. I didn’t really like either candidate, but I knew who I didn’t like, based on what I’d seen on TV. I occasionally watch some election coverage, so I’m not clueless about who’s on the ticket. Tonight, the Pennsylvania primary coverage was on. Barack Obama was losing the state’s primary. He’d traveled to Indiana to start his campaigning there, so he gave his speech tonight, from there. Here is what I saw… and what I don’t want to see, for the next four years:

That’s Barack Obama and three guys who look like fratboy-idiots, in Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirts. I’m not saying that this is some sort of purposeful advertising campaign by Abercrombie, though that would be really disgusting, too. I’m saying that I don’t want to see dumb people behind my president. He seems ok, but those buffoons behind him are obviously fratboy sheep. If they were blank t-shirts, it would’ve been ok. If they had witty text on them, I might’ve been intrigued. But they’re brand name t-shirts among the likes of Aeropostale, Hollister and American Eagle Outfitters. Why are they there? Do fratboy-sheep like this guy? It makes me think twice about liking him. If nothing else, this is a tragic mistake by some staffer on his campaign. There must be a guy who looks at the people who are going to be on screen with him… image is important, right? To an unimpressed, unaffected voter like myself, it’s just about all that matters. And if there is such a guy, he let those three bully-esque, stubble-faced kids with giant advertisements on their chests, be the backdrop behind his candidate.

I’ve been trying to find a band to play in. I’ve cruised the craigslist ads, I’ve posted my own ads, I’ve even looked at alternative places to post, though none seem to have the traffic that craigslist does. The cynicism I developed in the Wormtown scene about bands that suck rules out about 80% of the groups I hear. It’s possible I’m being too picky. The others don’t get back to me… maybe I’m too old or maybe it’s that I live in the suburbs? I dunno, but it’s pretty darn frustrating, I’m almost ready to give up.

I went and played for one group. It was after my early day of work and I was pretty exhausted… so I might have not really been awake enough to be in an audition position, but I didn’t think it went too badly… especially being the first time I’d played with other people in over a year. Unfortunately, I haven’t heard back from them and noticed that they’ve reposted their ad a few times. I’ve reposted my ad as well, with a few tweaks. I made the terrible mistake of not mentioning that I wanted to play original music (and not covers) in my first post. Not-so-ordinary groups respond to my ads, as well… soul, jazz, “weird” (humor) … and sometimes I respond to those kind of ads, just to see if there’s a way I could fit into something different. Nothing has come of it, so far. A lot of talk about possibly getting together, but no actual results yet. All the groups that I would be really excited to be a part of, don’t get back to me. I also can’t decide what kind of genre I should be going for. I feel like a rock group would be a lot of fun, but sometimes I’d like to do a folk type thing again… then, y’know, when Mark’s group comes out here again, we could play the same show or something… that’d be cool.

I really just want to play again. Anybody know anyone in the Chicago area? I haven’t tried too hard with the musical people I already know in this area… but I’m feeling a little desperate, so I’ll probably revisit those ideas and actually go after those kind of connections with some sort of zeal and/or determination.

We’re right at the beginning of a new season of work, so I’m just getting to know the new staff. When one of the new guys asked me how old I was on Thursday, I told him I was thirty. It’s easier to say and easier to remember than all these twenty-something ages I’ve been going through for the past decade. I’ve never felt like any specific age, so all the early twenties seem to blend together and twenty-eight seemed to be the age that would pop into my head, even when I was twenty-seven and twenty-nine… I guess just because it was an even number or easier to say or something. But I’ve officially accepted thirty, a few days early, even.

Last night, Sarah put together a gathering of some of our friends. It was a mix of local friends of hers and people she went to school with. I think she felt bad that I didn’t have any of my own friends, but I’m not that close with the people I work with, really. Most of my friends at home were people I had gone to school with and kept in touch with or musicians. So, since there aren’t [m]any old acquaintances out here and I’ve yet to join a band, I just don’t have a group of local friends. Sarah’s happy to share hers, though, and I like them. Anyway, we had a bunch of food, all cooked here by us, and played some awesome games, including Bananagrams, which has turned out to be one of the most popular Christmas presents from Sarah to me.

There may be some pictures when Sarah’s paparazzi school friends upload some. Sarah and I were too busy cooking and entertaining to take any ourselves.

I don’t usually get into politics, but we had a discussion at work this morning about the general opinion on Bush. It’s probably true that some people would be happy if he suddenly died, and other people would be happy if he enacted his secret plan to start a war with Iran and postpone the next presidential election indefinitely. I’d be happy if I never had to see his beady little eyes on TV again. I am also kind of afraid of Hillary’s crazy eyes, but they don’t bother me as much, I guess.

Sarah’s throwing me a birthday party. I don’t remember the last party I had… but this is mostly an excuse to get some friends over and play some games and eat some food. The food is shaping up to be pretty yummy, I think. I’m excited. If you’re feeling really bad about not coming, there’s always Apple gift cards (for the day when the old Dell does finally die) or stuff from my Amazon wishlist. I will be thirty years old. I don’t feel it, I guess, but I don’t know how old I feel. I do know that I’d really like to find some people to perform music with. Steve from snakes & ladders sent a video documentary-type-thing on the band that he put together that drove that home.