Tag Archive for 'my.head'

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longevity

Sarah’s mom reminded us that we passed the two year anniversary of our first date. She then started to ask me whether this was my longest relationship and I had to think about it. It turns out that it definitely is. The longest possible definition for my last long relationship was from November 1992 to September 1994… and it was a long distance relationship, only seeing each other on weekends and school breaks, and, for at least one year, it wasn’t an exclusive relationship… and it was in high school… so really, does it count at all? While I was sitting here, bored at work, I figured out that Sarah might also be a record holder for the longest “friendship that turned into a serious relationship,” since we started talking back in 2003, on photoSIG… as long as I don’t count the weird girls who I had relationships with in high school, lost touch with, off and on, for 5-10 years and then had another relationship with. All those years of non-contact don’t count, right? I dunno the rules for these kind of things. I wouldn’t say that two years flew by, but it doesn’t feel like it’s been two years. I know time flies when you’re having fun… but what do you call it when you’re happy and in love and two years doesn’t feel like two years? I guess it’s the same thing, fun just seems like too general a word to sum up the last two years. It’s been wonderful.

In other news, my phone started doing weird things and “rebooting” itself, so I brought it to a Verizon store and got its software/firmware updated. It seemed to help. Apparently, I’m eligible for $100 towards a new phone at the end of August. I looked at what’s available, now and wasn’t overly excited by anything. And I’m certainly not going to double my bill [to get unlimited calling to anyone on any service] just so I’m eligible for the new iPhone rip-off. I may not do anything in the phone department until I find out what carriers the Nuviphone will be on. That would satisfy my new GPS urges and hopefully quash any iPhone urges. I don’t really want to rearrange the family phone plan, though, so if it can’t work with Verizon, it probably won’t happen. What’s nice is that my current phone has been pretty good to me for almost two years. My current little laptop with GPS has been adequate, for a little over two years, but it’s not nearly as convenient or nice as those little portable units. It’d be cool to do some one-stop shopping, but I have to be patient and let the cool new devices hit the marketplace.

Now, I’ve just gotta survive through the rest of the boring front desk gig at the Y… not that I’m complaining – boring work on the weekends is fine with me, but relaxing at home is nicer.

I’m on YouTube?

This page has some videos of me performing in my high school’s song and dance group (the ones with titles that include years back in the 90s – cause I’m old).  Totally embarrassing. Enjoy.

It’s been a fun week. The weather was fairly nice and we went to the Flea Market, today. We’ve been teased with warm spells and then temperatures dropping back near freezing overnight, so it was nice to walk around in a t-shirt today. The overnight trips for Adventure Ed. are this week, so I hope this warm spell continues. We saw Iron Man on Friday. It was pretty darn good, especially for a comic book movie. We also went yard saling that morning and attended Fly Bird‘s 4th birthday bash-thing and picked up some weird stuff. I think we’re doing a double date tonight and seeing another movie, maybe Forgetting Sarah Marshall or maybe Baby Mama… I really liked the intriguing “is that for real?” ad campaign that Forgetting Sarah Marshall did with their billboards and busboards.

I also did something bad to my knee at some point this week. I think I may have injured it on Tuesday night when I was doing a balancing-on-one-foot-and-tying-my-shoe dance. It was kinda sore on Wednesday, worse on Thursday and really really painful on Friday. Yesterday it was much better and today it feels fine… but it really made me feel old. I was all gimpy and hobbling around the yard sales on Friday.

Oh, and while it wasn’t my boss, this time… a director at the YMCA I work at was let go this week. I’m not directly involved and, as I said, it wasn’t my boss, so it has nothing to do with the curse that I bring along to every after-school day care that I’ve ever worked for, but I am curious to see how they fill his position. I haven’t yet worked for a YMCA that filled a vacant position with anyone half-as-good as the person that left/they fired. They usually cut corners and give some of their responsibilities to other directors and maybe hire a new assistant.

What’s wrong with Barack Obama’s campaign:

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not political. I’m not even registered to vote in Illinois. I thought I was last registered in Dudley, but who knows. Until a candidate who is an atheist, possibly an existentialist, in favor of a complete destruction and rebuilding of the monetary system from one based on debt to one based on work and is basically an anarchist runs, I can’t get behind one and give them my vote, because they won’t represent me. Having said that, I have voted once (and attempted to vote a couple other times, but was told I didn’t exist). I will vote for or against the presidential candidate that I would like to or not like to see on TV for the next four years. I didn’t want to see Bush’s creepy little beady eyes on TV for four years (or four more years), so I attempted to vote against him, twice. I didn’t really like either candidate, but I knew who I didn’t like, based on what I’d seen on TV. I occasionally watch some election coverage, so I’m not clueless about who’s on the ticket. Tonight, the Pennsylvania primary coverage was on. Barack Obama was losing the state’s primary. He’d traveled to Indiana to start his campaigning there, so he gave his speech tonight, from there. Here is what I saw… and what I don’t want to see, for the next four years:

obama and fitch

That’s Barack Obama and three guys who look like fratboy-idiots, in Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirts. I’m not saying that this is some sort of purposeful advertising campaign by Abercrombie, though that would be really disgusting, too. I’m saying that I don’t want to see dumb people behind my president. He seems ok, but those buffoons behind him are obviously fratboy sheep. If they were blank t-shirts, it would’ve been ok. If they had witty text on them, I might’ve been intrigued. But they’re brand name t-shirts among the likes of Aeropostale, Hollister and American Eagle Outfitters. Why are they there? Do fratboy-sheep like this guy? It makes me think twice about liking him. If nothing else, this is a tragic mistake by some staffer on his campaign. There must be a guy who looks at the people who are going to be on screen with him… image is important, right? To an unimpressed, unaffected voter like myself, it’s just about all that matters. And if there is such a guy, he let those three bully-esque, stubble-faced kids with giant advertisements on their chests, be the backdrop behind his candidate.

just want to play

I’ve been trying to find a band to play in. I’ve cruised the craigslist ads, I’ve posted my own ads, I’ve even looked at alternative places to post, though none seem to have the traffic that craigslist does. The cynicism I developed in the Wormtown scene about bands that suck rules out about 80% of the groups I hear. It’s possible I’m being too picky. The others don’t get back to me… maybe I’m too old or maybe it’s that I live in the suburbs? I dunno, but it’s pretty darn frustrating, I’m almost ready to give up.

I went and played for one group. It was after my early day of work and I was pretty exhausted… so I might have not really been awake enough to be in an audition position, but I didn’t think it went too badly… especially being the first time I’d played with other people in over a year. Unfortunately, I haven’t heard back from them and noticed that they’ve reposted their ad a few times. I’ve reposted my ad as well, with a few tweaks. I made the terrible mistake of not mentioning that I wanted to play original music (and not covers) in my first post. Not-so-ordinary groups respond to my ads, as well… soul, jazz, “weird” (humor) … and sometimes I respond to those kind of ads, just to see if there’s a way I could fit into something different. Nothing has come of it, so far. A lot of talk about possibly getting together, but no actual results yet. All the groups that I would be really excited to be a part of, don’t get back to me. I also can’t decide what kind of genre I should be going for. I feel like a rock group would be a lot of fun, but sometimes I’d like to do a folk type thing again… then, y’know, when Mark’s group comes out here again, we could play the same show or something… that’d be cool.

I really just want to play again. Anybody know anyone in the Chicago area? I haven’t tried too hard with the musical people I already know in this area… but I’m feeling a little desperate, so I’ll probably revisit those ideas and actually go after those kind of connections with some sort of zeal and/or determination.

30 is easy to remember

We’re right at the beginning of a new season of work, so I’m just getting to know the new staff. When one of the new guys asked me how old I was on Thursday, I told him I was thirty. It’s easier to say and easier to remember than all these twenty-something ages I’ve been going through for the past decade. I’ve never felt like any specific age, so all the early twenties seem to blend together and twenty-eight seemed to be the age that would pop into my head, even when I was twenty-seven and twenty-nine… I guess just because it was an even number or easier to say or something. But I’ve officially accepted thirty, a few days early, even.

Last night, Sarah put together a gathering of some of our friends. It was a mix of local friends of hers and people she went to school with. I think she felt bad that I didn’t have any of my own friends, but I’m not that close with the people I work with, really. Most of my friends at home were people I had gone to school with and kept in touch with or musicians. So, since there aren’t [m]any old acquaintances out here and I’ve yet to join a band, I just don’t have a group of local friends. Sarah’s happy to share hers, though, and I like them. Anyway, we had a bunch of food, all cooked here by us, and played some awesome games, including Bananagrams, which has turned out to be one of the most popular Christmas presents from Sarah to me.

There may be some pictures when Sarah’s paparazzi school friends upload some. Sarah and I were too busy cooking and entertaining to take any ourselves.

it’s all in the eyes

I don’t usually get into politics, but we had a discussion at work this morning about the general opinion on Bush. It’s probably true that some people would be happy if he suddenly died, and other people would be happy if he enacted his secret plan to start a war with Iran and postpone the next presidential election indefinitely. I’d be happy if I never had to see his beady little eyes on TV again. I am also kind of afraid of Hillary’s crazy eyes, but they don’t bother me as much, I guess.

Sarah’s throwing me a birthday party. I don’t remember the last party I had… but this is mostly an excuse to get some friends over and play some games and eat some food. The food is shaping up to be pretty yummy, I think. I’m excited. If you’re feeling really bad about not coming, there’s always Apple gift cards (for the day when the old Dell does finally die) or stuff from my Amazon wishlist. I will be thirty years old. I don’t feel it, I guess, but I don’t know how old I feel. I do know that I’d really like to find some people to perform music with. Steve from snakes & ladders sent a video documentary-type-thing on the band that he put together that drove that home.

Voegtlin Corporation and Companies

Just woke up from a weird dream. It was sort of a suspense/thriller feel, so I was kinda upset about waking up, only because I would love to know what was gonna happen next. The basic disjointed pieces were like this:

I’m in Dudley at my parents’ house, actually, outside my parents’ house and Dad is there. He tells me he’s heading somewhere, some weird location whose name I know was repeated multiple times in the dream, but that I can’t recall at all, now. He said he had to pick some stuff up, but that some people might come looking for stuff… and he started to say, “If they come, it’s…” but then he changed his mind and said just to tell them that he was out. Some people definitely came, and I don’t remember my exact interaction with them, but I do remember that they did finally decide to leave, but that there were a lot of cars in the driveway, so they proceeded to smash into many of them on their way out… one of them was in a little classic dodge caravan type thing and backed into this 80s Oldsmobile looking thing on the grass behind the house and somehow pushed it all the way across the yard and into the fence. I told whoever was standing next to me that it’s ok, “it doesn’t run.” Then he continued his many pointed turn maneuver and pulled in between some small trees onto the neighbor’s yard over their driveway and down to the road. I remember being thankful that my car (which was my current car, my Mazda 5) was parked way behind the house and out of his rage range. I was looking at some awful gold-rust colored Cadillac up on the hill that heads up to the barn and being thankful that they hadn’t hit this one. I think it was partly because it belonged to someone important to my dad and partly because that someone would’ve gone crazy and beat them up, or something. Then I was talking to someone, maybe the same person I had told not to worry about the car on the lawn, about my dad telling me where he was going and that people might come by and I mentioned where he went and they said, “oh, then he’s gone to get the paperwork.” And proceeded to explain to me that he was probably out getting whatever illiegal documents were needed to make this other guy into me, on paper. I don’t think there was good explanation why, at the time.

The next part I remember is a bunch of people gathered inside with Dad, and this guy who was going to become me, and they were all sitting around a table, maybe, but I think we were all on couches. I know that I wasn’t supposed to know about this identity thing… so there was some point in the conversation when my Dad asked if anyone had anything to say, or maybe asked me something directly… either way, I said something about not being able to ever start my own company because “he’s going to be me.” There was some shock, I think, that I knew.

And then it turned into a party, for this guy, because the cat was out of the bag, and my dad explained that he was going to take control of the Voegtlin Corporation and Companies. Somebody said something about him not really needing to be me to do that and whoever was sitting next to them said that it would be cheaper if it was inherited. I remember that I got really mad at Dad at one point, I think he had said something about playing music and not being able to start a company doing that or something, and from my position, half-lying down on a couch, threw a drumstick (a bass drum mallet, one of two I was twirling around in my fingers) at his head, though, intentionally missing by a couple inches. He paused and looked alarmed and after a while, threw it back and I caught it somehow with the other stick. I also remember that I was just lying on the couch and saying very little while this party was going on around me. At one point, this guy who was going to become me, who I’m not positive had a name until this point, was talking about how much he loved certain pills he was taking. There was lots of agreement, including from my Dad, I think… and then there was some mention of his birthday and someone said, “yeah, what are we gonna do for him on his last birthday as Eddie?”

Then some more science-fiction flair got thrown in, someone, possibly me, asked about how he was going to prove he was me, if it ever came into scrutiny, and wouldn’t it be easier to steal Ernie’s identity (my older, mostly incommunicado, brother), and so on… and while there wasn’t really any explanation, my Dad did ask me for a blood sample, and for some reason Eddie was drawing his own blood, too. And then I told them that this wouldn’t work because I didn’t take any pills and everyone took pills, so my blood would certainly show up as irregular and any investigator worth his salt could tell that (pointing at various people in the room) “you’re on…” this and that drug and “you two are both on…” these pills and so on.

And that’s about the time I woke up. Thinking about it afterwards, the weirdest parts were that I was concerned with starting my own business… but maybe I was just using that as an example of something I couldn’t do if I wasn’t me, anymore. Another thing that struck me as odd was that “Eddie” was hispanic. he sort of looked like a bald Carlos Mencia… Dad was just a little bit racist, and it just didn’t seem right to me that he would hand down his whole company to a guy like that, but it’s not like I knew the guy, this was a dream, but it did occur to me right after waking up, so maybe it was part of the dream, too. Then there’s the fact that I had my Mazda. We essentially bought our Mazdas with Dad’s life insurance benefits. And the room the party was in was not like any room in our house in Dudley. It looked like a small, white apartment… but there’s gaps, I don’t even remember Dad coming back from wherever he was, in the dream, it’s possible that we all went somewhere else between the time I found out about the identity theft and the party. Then, in true Mark Mandeville, Dream No. 1 fashion, I started wondering if any of it was true, while preparing my breakfast (Mark wondered if he would drop dead any moment from the poison he drank in his dream, while he was eating his cereal). I wondered if Dad had, in fact, set someone up as a fake me. Of course, then I remembered that Dad was not as maniacal as he was in my dream and that there was no Voegtlin Corporation and Companies to inherit.

Back in the real world, I have some sort of training for Adventure Ed, tomorrow. Not sure exactly what it’s about. But I’ve also got to finish up the stats from last season and eMail the students with the links to the pictures after the training. I miss working a little bit, but I’d much rather sit home and play Lego Star Wars on the Wii… or go out and take some pictures, but it’s still looking pretty gray outside. I put in that order for sunlight on Friday. No tip for the sun god this time, that’s for sure.

ouch

Mornings at the Y are especially boring when the basketball league takes the weekend off. The height of activity, so far, was selling a 24″ wreath. We’re pretty sure that our tree grew while it was up on the roof, on the ride home. I think we’ll be pushing furniture around this afternoon and putting it up. If my headache goes away, that is. I woke up with a little headache, and it has grown into a ridiculously painful mess. I tried drinking a bunch of water, thinking that I might just be dehydrated. When that had no effect, I tried some coffee. I don’t think it’s working, either. I’m in the home stretch, now, though.

closed for the season

Except for administering the post program surveys and evaluations… and entering all that data in the computers … Adventure Ed. is done for the season. I’m uploading the last of the pictures, now. I’ll probably have to put together a CD of them all organized into folders again for the kids, my coworker Antoinette or both. I should probably do that this weekend, so I can give CDs to the facilitators and teachers this week… just in case eMailing the students doesn’t go as planned.

Got a big dinner in the works for tomorrow… helped prepare some desserts for baking this afternoon/morning. I always feel really full after the Adventure Ed. overnights, so the idea of a big meal isn’t all that appealing right now, but I’m sure I’ll be hungry by tomorrow. A couple years ago, I went a little moblog crazy on Thanksgiving. Life was pretty different back then. I won’t deny that it’s fun for me to go back and read old posts. Especially the ones where I’m not doing as well as I am now. I was whiny and depressed a lot, probably terribly uninteresting reading for all of you… but fun for me, ’cause things are so much better now. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel ridiculously tired and on the verge of non-functioning after work some days, but now it seems like it’s a justified exhaustion instead of just not being able to focus or just having a broken head.

two years

I guess this day will continue to be a defining day. I can pretend it was all a bunch of circumstances having to do with getting a random day off and being assigned dinner-duty and not wanting to cook a half-assed meal and a mini-argument that led to not having a ride and therefore walking about 9 miles to pick up my car… but the truth is, I think, I just needed some time on this day to be alone and clear my head. The walk was good for that. No really defining things actually happened, but it was a good head-clearing time. I sort of wish I’d taken a ride to Bedford to visit Dad’s grave while I was home. I’ll put it on the list for next time.