Spent a week in the wilds of the Southern Indiana and Tennessee and drove across Kentucky, twice. I think we made one brief stop in Kentucky, each time we crossed it… spent most of our time tooling across Tennessee in whatever direction suited us on that particular day. It turned out to be a really fun trip, so I’m going to attempt to sum up the highlights.
We started our trip with a drive through Indiana, the long way, until we reached the river that separates Kentucky and Indiana. There was nothing around except a cute little town every few miles… and this big-ass casino that we had booked a night at, in the hopes of a classy room and a little fun wasting some money playing slots. The slots were, indeed, fun, and we all managed to blow a few dollars and stay entertained for a couple of hours. I thought about trying my hand at roulette again, but the stakes were too high for me… $5 minimum… a far cry from the $1 (CAD) minimum in Montreal, where I did so well, all those years ago. We had a decent dinner at a cafe where fish swam behind our heads, but awoke to find the room even more dirty and stained than we originally observed… we put up a little fuss, in the morning, and they comped the room. They also promised us a letter worth a free weekend and $100 hotel credit… which turned out to be a letter worth one free night and $50. We’ll probably use it someday. The breakfast buffet was great… we understood how the crazy old casino addicts could play all day and then gorge themselves on the buffet food and make it worth the price.
Then we headed down to Nashville. I think that, even though I had prepared the google maps of our trip, it hadn’t really dawned on me that 
we were driving through Kentucky, until we started this leg of the trip. I remembered trying to figure out how close we were going to be to where EJ lived, when we chose the Smokies as our overall destination, but somehow, the fact that we were driving across the state had gone totally unnoticed. We stopped in one, clear tourist-trap-of-a-town and almost went on a tour through a cave, but decided that the time commitment involved wasn’t worth it. Then we stopped at a giant “rock & gift shop” that reminded me of that scene in Zombieland where they bust up a cheesy gift shop. We also took some pictures of the entranceway to Dinosaur World, but decided not to waste $13 per person to go inside. We made it to Nashville before dark and hooked up with our friend Jesse for dinner. He took us to a couple of cool places: a really nice cafe, that seemed off the beaten path a bit, and a bar on Broadway, where you’re supposed to go when you visit Nashville, I guess. We heard the “Honky Tonk-Heroes” play and I got my dose of country music.
Then we headed across Tennessee to our cabin in Pigeon Forge. Google took us on a long stretch of NOT-interstate which resulted in one police officer pulling us over and “cutting us a break” by writing us a ticket that had the words “*Pre-Trial” written on it… and assuring us that we would pay less than the actual fine, though that amount isn’t actually written on there anywhere, so we’ll see what happens when I call to take care of it. We were a little stressed about our cabin rental office being closed by the time we got there… but the directions to our cabin were in a coded lock-box outside the office… the unpaved and extremely steep road up to the cabin probably would’ve been described better by a person than that sheet of paper could’ve ever done. It took us a couple tries to get up the last stretch of road. We ventured back down to stock the cabin with some food from Food City and picked up a movie at a Blockbuster Express kiosk.
The next day, we cruised around Gatlinburg, skipped right through the cheesy touristy section, and toured around the crafters’ section of town. There was one scary shop full of wood-carved stuff (including belts!), and the walls were covered with signed portraits of every past republican president and letters thanking them for their contributions… There was a slightly friendlier pedestrian mall full of shops at a cute little covered bridge; We had some good ice cream there. On our way out of town we stopped at Hillbilly Golf, which was a mini-golf course installed on the side of a hill where we took a chairlift up to the top and played our way down. We actually went to dinner at a BBQ place, based on the Hillbilly attendant’s recommendation, and then came back to golf.
Our friend in Nashville recommended that we go to Ruby Falls. He talked about it like it was in the same town as our cabin, but it was really 2+ hours away. We were up for a little road trip, though, so we decided to trust his advice. The cave was pretty awesome and the history or the cave and the original cave beneath it was pretty cool. The falls themselves were impressive, but the “7 minutes” that you get there is not sufficient for a photographer. The castle that they built out of the rock they pulled out while digging the shaft for the elevator provides a nice view of Chattanooga and the winding river. We decided we were hungry, so I busted out the Yelp app on my phone and started reading off the nearby restaurants. “Pizza sounds good.” was the decision, so I found the closest pizza place with the most ratings and it happened to be the best freakin’ pizza that any of us have ever had, I think.
We tried to save the Smokies for the day that had the best weather predicted, so that our pictures would be pretty and any small hikes would be bearable. 
We drove into the national park and started up the mountains… we pulled off anytime we saw something picturesque and wandered a bit, took lots of pictures. We went all the way up to the North Carolina line and saw where the appalachian trail meets the scenic road we were on… then we headed up to Clingman’s Dome, which included a half-mile walk up a fairly steep grade. We were all pretty exhausted, but we made it and the views were awesome. We decided that we deserved a good meal, so we headed to this Apple-themed place… it had a long wait, but a good reputation. Unfortunately, our waitress left and handed our table off to someone who was far too busy and sort of left us with no food for a half an hour… again, we put up a bit of a fuss and they gave us lots of free stuff. On our way back to the cabin, we experienced the world’s largest As Seen On TV store… it was entertaining, and maybe a little sad, but definitely an experience.
Then we drove home… as if we hadn’t spent enough time in a car, the family agreed to indulge my 50-minute detour to the nearest Tim Horton’s. A few of the roads were “closed” on our 50-minute detour, but we drove on them anyway. I must have missed Tim’s coffee a lot, because it tasted amazing. It was also a nice break in the drive… somewhere a little past the half-way point.
A little ways into our first day of driving, we started choosing the music we would play alphabetically, by band. You can see some of our soundtrack on my last.fm page. We were missing a few letters, went back to a couple, a bit out of order, and some of them came from Sarah’s iPod, but if you’re curious, I could try and figure out what all letters were. The iPods all got a little time on the stereo… we replaced my noisy, clicking tape adapter on the ride home. The Mazda got new struts (covered under that extended warranty we bought with the cars… phew) right before the trip, so the car performed great. My phone was a champ, it managed to get us internet access in the cabin, guided us by GPS, everywhere that we went, and let me check in on Yelp all over the place and finding us good places to eat. Yelp and a couple other travel/review sites definitely had better recommendations that the silly guestbook in our cabin – for example, when it comes to pancake houses in the area: Flapjacks, no; Log Cabin, yes. The cameras all performed admirably. A few pics from mine are up at Flickr. We brought a handful of film cameras and haven’t developed anything from them, yet.
woot